Your Heartbreak is Showing

It’s crimson. It’s raw. It’s relentlessly prominent. You wear it on your sleeve and you have no shame about who sees it, even using it as an instrument of gaining empathy. You may even use it as justification for your lack of commitment.

The problem isn’t the heartbreak itself, it is the reaction and utilization of having your heart broken. To deny the existence of heartbreak is to be ignorant. To employ it as a defense against any new person who enters your life is to be cruel. However, to acknowledge heartbreak and revere it as a prominent part of our society is to be mature and therefore wise.

Before we dissect the purpose of heartbreak, we must confront the undeniable and harsh vitality that heartbreak holds in our society. It is a rather simple equation; the inevitability of growth is determined by the existence of heartbreak. If the average person experiences minimal heartbreak during his or her life, we can expect that this person reaps a smaller amount of growth as opposed to someone who has endured sizable tribulation. To complicate the process even further, the assumed growth of the latter person also depends on this person’s response to going through a recognizably larger amount of heartbreak. If the person chooses to let the acidity of heartbreak consume him or her, the person will presumably have minimal growth, thus negating any amount of tribulation experienced. On the preferable hand, this person can react with tenacity and use the heartbreak as an applicable lesson and take advantage of the opportunity to mature through the hardship. So, it really is an unpredictable cycle decided solely by the participant.

Alright, let’s drop the mathematical junk and get real. Surprisingly, God never intended for hearts to hurt. However, sin entered the world and now mean people have ugly agendas.

So you say, “Okay, Ms. Know-It-All. How do we stop our hearts from being broken?” Well, because I know everything (totally sarcasm), I know that you cannot stop heartbreak. It is absolutely and inexplicably inevitable. A more effective question would be, “How do we soften the blow of heartbreak?” I will tell you my strategy, that has only come through a serious breakup and being on the receiving end of many ugly agendas from a few too many mean people.

My weapon against heartbreak? None other than my Sword. As I unsheathe my instrument of emotional defense, I specifically turn to Proverbs 13:12 to combat the war on my heart. This wonderful passage breathed of God Himself reads, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick. But, when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”

The literal definition of “deferred” is: to put off an action or event to a later time or postpone.

Therefore, by deferring hope, you are postponing a blessing over your life solely because you are clinging to a sick heart and refusing the healing power of God.

If you truly are not ready for a relationship, it is healthy to take time to heal and allow your heart to recover from the upset of someone letting you down. But, don’t just stand in the wreckage of your past while your future slowly floats by. Using heartbreak as a crutch will only allow God’s plan to surpass you. He has something amazing waiting for you, but you cannot defer the tree of life because of one bad root. I’m not saying be oblivious to the fact that you’ve been hurt. Rather the opposite-use it as a testimony and all the more reason to face a new relationship with more maturity in your heart. If your heartbreaks were anything like mine, they allowed plenty of room for growth.

Hoping for His plan and allowing restoration to overwhelm your life will prove to be immensely more effective than building indestructible walls around your heart. Blessings can’t break down walls. You will have to do that yourself. Our God is not a forceful God, He wants you to be receptive and open to His plan. That will only happen if you wear your natural heart on your sleeve and leave the breaking to the meanies, instead of inflicting familiar pain on yourself.

Choose growth over being content with staying in one place. God has so much planned for you, but you have to make the choice of shifting the paradigm of heartbreak in your life.