My Church Hurt Me

Grudges. They are the death of a disheartening amount of broken church-member relationships.

Unfortunately, it is all too common for humans to completely destroy every intention God has within His Kingdom. Church doesn't hurt people, humans do.

I began church basically out of the womb. I attended a phenomenal church, Pleasant Hill Baptist Church, for most of my life.

Having experienced this church family, it was easy to pick out the fallacy in another church I was involved in for a couple of years when I began college. I am abstaining the name of this church out of respect. I got involved in a relationship and a group of friends, so naturally I wanted to pursue God with these people. Therefore, I officially switched churches.

Once the aforementioned connections ended, the ties were immediately cut. I attempted to return to this church after parting ways with certain people, but I felt unwelcome and uninvited. Before I go any further, I do want to specify that the experience I am about to describe is at the hands of only a few members of this church. The church overall welcomed me back with open arms the one time I returned. However, there is a reason I only desired to return once.

The one time that I gathered the courage to walk through the doors again after two months, I was greeted mostly by smiles and “I missed you”. However, the behavior from a specific two or three members was enough to completely wreck my attraction to the church as a whole. I felt absolutely discarded by people who claimed to be my “church family” just two months prior. I felt betrayed and lied to, because the same people that have told me that they love me were very ones making me feel unloved. The attitude of just one person can put someone off of ever walking through the doors again, no matter how loving the rest of the congregation is.

As Christians, WE are the body. WE are the church. And, we may be the only church a lost person sees. It’s not a building. It’s not an event. It’s not a religion. It is your heart and how you choose to let it spill into the world.

It’s so heartbreaking that “church hurt” is even a term. No one, saved or unsaved, should EVER walk through the doors of God’s house and feel unwelcome. A church is a safe zone, and it should feel comfortable and inviting.

My experience may pale in comparison to someone else’s experience, but it was enough for the title of this article to come to my mind.

I’m now involved in an amazing church filled to the brim with God-loving people and people-loving people. New Life Church is warm and has an intriguing mixture of cultures and ethnicities. It takes people at face value and digs into their hearts.

If you have been hurt by a church, please, PLEASE give it another shot with a body of believers that will love you and accept you no matter what. If you have caused hurt within the church, please relinquish any destroyed relationships.

God gave us the earthly responsibility to love on His people, so let’s obey.

As always, I welcome feedback via email on the Contact page.